words Al Woods
When is it time to apply for a divorce? It would seem, despite how different couples and circumstances may be, this question still has several unequivocal answers. Violence, drugs, alcoholism, gambling addiction, humiliation, adultery, and crime are clearly not events that contribute to a happy marriage.
But for whom is online divorce? And do you know when it is a good time to file for an online divorce? What is an uncontested divorce? This type of divorce procedure implies that the spouses do not pose a danger to each other, and neither of them intends to sue the other. But when there is no serious conflict between the spouses why divorce? Let’s look at this divorce option in more detail, both from a legal and psychological point of view.
Things You Should Know About Online Divorce
Online divorce is an affordable way to prepare divorce papers for an uncontested and no-fault dissolution process. In a peaceful divorce, dealing with legal paperwork is usually the only main difficulty. Often, by using the services of online divorce providers to help with the paperwork, spouses can arrange the whole divorce without an attorney.
When the spouses’ desire to get a divorce is mutual and they both agree on an uncontested divorce, it makes sense to think about divorce over the Internet. The fact is that filling out numerous papers requires attentiveness and accuracy. This is not always easy for a person without a legal background. When a lawyer is used to fill out the papers, the cost of divorce may be very high, even if the parties have reached an agreement concerning all the terms and issues. While attorneys charge a fee ranging between $100 and $500 per hour, web divorce is inexpensive. So, spouses that part on amicable terms avoiding costly litigation can have a cheap divorce.
Completing divorce forms online is not without its benefits, but before using these services, you will need to be aware of the following requirements:
- Both spouses are on board with the divorce and available. Some states recognize Joint Petition and allow the spouses to file for divorce together.
- The divorcing couple has no debts, loans, etc.
- The spouses have come to an agreement about how to divide all marital properties and other major assets.
- The spouses have reached an agreement as to the custody and visitation rights involving any underage children.
Psychological Causes for a Divorce With no Blame
Can a marital relationship survive when the happy routine of marriage comes crashing down because of indifference, lack of money, or other issues?
Before filing for divorce, a person in such an unhappy marriage may ask this question to determine the possible limits of their patience. They wonder when efforts to maintain the relationship can be considered as vain. In this situation of not knowing what to decide, it is desirable for someone to “allow” you take a step in one direction or another, and accordingly, take responsibility for the consequences.
Of course, there is not one recipe for everyone. Therefore, let’s consider the most typical situations that can result in the end of a marriage.
Where Did the Love Go?
The most common reason that a marriage ends is because the “love is over.” Your partner showered you with attention early in the marriage, but now, everything has become ordinary and boring. It seems as if they just don’t care about you anymore. Psychologically speaking, the emotional level has faulted. Therefore, claims against a partner look like nitpicking. It is strange to accuse the spouse of kissing you just twice instead of five times. Maybe you should not get a divorce because of this. What if after the romantic phase, your relationship has just moved to the next level (stable level). Things did not become worse. On the contrary, the marriage moved away from predominantly external manifestations and became deeper.
What if it is not your loved one that is responsible for the change? It’s your feelings that have cooled, and you are just projecting your own condition on your partner to avoid feeling guilty. You might think of love as vivid emotions that you experience in the presence of a “loved one.” But that person may remain a stranger to you. That is, in your mind, you have created some abstraction then fit your partner into that imaginary ideal image. When it turns out that your partner does not meet your expectations (and this happens in most cases), you fall into despair. This is an example of a typical infantile feature – “Hey, become who I want you to be.” Therefore, you’d better grow up. Shift the focus of attention from your personality to the world and perceive it with interest. Otherwise, breaking with one partner and looking for another will not change anything. You need to find love in yourself in order to have the ability to enthusiastically perceive another unique personality.
In some cases, as sad as it might sound, love is actually gone and that’s it. There’s no one to blame and nothing that can be done. In such a case, to have a chance to build a happier future, separating with no offenses and blames is the best solution.
When Marriage Feels Like a Burden
Another situation is when you notice that you are initiating all the developments in your marriage, making all the important decisions for the family, and implementing all the actions. While you are taking all the responsibilities, your partner just agrees with everything remaining indifferent. This often happens when one spouse continues to develop as a person, while the other feels that they had already invested enough into the relationship becoming passive.
The more active spouse considers the family as a significant part of a diverse world. The other perceives such an interest in life almost as a betrayal. Resentment, jealousy, and misunderstanding appear. In this case, long negotiations and compromise become useless since there is a worldview split.
Understand that no one is guilty. You both want different things from life and from the relationship. This can be a legitimate reason to break up. And yet, no one did anything wrong. In this type of case, you can definitely reach an agreement and go for an uncontested online divorce.
Fears and Hesitancy
Often the desire to make concessions in a relationship comes from fear. According to therapists, due to a huge amount of stereotypes in society, women are still more afraid to lose their partner and be left alone than men. But is it worth it to lose yourself because of this fear? After all, if you continue to do something that you do not want to, suppressing anger, irritation, and resentment all the time, you can eventually “forget” what it means to be self-sufficient and happy.
Another fear related to divorce is abandoning or leaving children without a father/mother.
But it’s the parents who are getting divorced, not children. According to experts, it’s better for a child to grow up with calm, balanced divorced parents than to be stuck at the epicenter of family scandals. Moreover, if the marriage is riding on children, what will save it from divorce when they grow up and leave home?
Oddly enough, people often fear that their spouse would be lost without them. This attitude is usually caused by hidden feelings of superiority, a desire to control, disrespect, and distrust of the other.
If any of these fears are ruining your marriage, family therapy might help. But, if you or your spouse don’t want to do anything about it, separation might be the only step to happiness for both of you. The calmer the process of divorce is, the faster happiness comes.