How should couples discuss finances before marriage?

words Alexa Wang

If you want to have a happy love life, talking about material and non-material gifts before marriage is mandatory. According to a report’s data, 54% of couples discuss finances before marriage, and now they are staying happy. In short, a happy and long-term relationship consists of the following things: 

“Money + understanding = happy & long-lasting relationship.”

Dealing with money is a big part of life, and if someone denies this reality, then change thinking. So, it means you should find common ground to cultivate a solid marriage. But it would help if you have specific tips to manage finances efficiently. 

couples finances marriage

Money & marriage go hand in hand: Tips to discuss finances in a relationship: 

According to surveys and reports, money is the main reason behind broken marriages, divorces, and infidelity. But you can avoid all problems by discussing finances ahead of time. Moreover, we should know that marriage is a bumpy ride, and we can make it happy by merging life for good. Apart from money, it would help discuss work, health priorities, and home chores ahead of time. Later, you can live a pleasant life if your minds match with each other. Many people don’t know how to approach this conversation, especially when it’s money-related. So, here are tips that help to make this road easier and smooth. 

Start the conversation with the simple talk: 

In the early days of any relationship, you can’t start talking about finances right away. So, it means that you will have to start the conversation slowly. For instance, tell them according to the AICPA research that 73% of people in America think that unstable marriage is due to financial matters. Apart from this, 47% of Americans think these tensions negatively impact their relationships. So, telling your partner these things can ruin your relationship in the long run. But at first, ask yourself these questions: 

  • Do you guys have the same spending habits? 
  • Are you both a risk-taker and money saver? 
  • What is your attitude towards money? 

It means your early conversation will decide the future of your marriage and relationship. Above all, don’t forget to discuss mortgages and unsecured credit. 

couples finances

Discuss your life as a couple: 

A happy and healthy relationship is the one in which both persons do the sharing. In simple words, sharing is caring. For instance, if your partner likes shopping from high-end brands but you don’t like this approach. So, as a result, your relationship will end up with more problems. According to the stats, there is the following percentage of people who stay happy. 

The above statistics show that people who discuss life events together stay happy. On the other hand, people who don’t discuss are only satisfied up to 29%. So, align your lifestyle with income and discuss priorities with each other. 

Talk to open a joint bank account: 

Some people think that separate checking accounts are the main reason behind financial security. But this isn’t the case if you are looking for financial stability in a relationship. But you need to understand that marriage is a partnership, and you should work together to make it successful. So, you can open a joint account to pay bills and other expenses. If you want to split bills by keeping the money separate, it will lead to more problems. So, don’t separate accounts and save all cash together to make it happen. 

Keep your purchases open: 

If you don’t involve your spouse in daily life events like shopping, your relationship will suffer in this situation. For instance, if you like shopping and keeping secrets from your partner, then it’s not going to help. So, keep track of your buying and save all receipts. You also have the option of using an invoice generator to keep track of expenses. According to the stats, one out of every three couples who argue with each other hide shopping. So, both of you should remain open and honest with each other. It is the first step to build financial trust in a couple. 

Align your expectations with each other: 

We already have discussed that money sets the expectations in a relationship, and it’s the main reason for conflict. So, it would help if you discussed all your expectations with each other. For instance, if you want to buy a new house before getting married, then discuss. But it’s harmful to set unrealistic expectations because it can create problems in the future. The following data explains the situation well: 

  • 94% people stay happy who discuss expectations before marriage 
  • On the other hand, 45% are spending an average marriage life by not discussing financial expectations. 

So, everything, whether it’s a new home, car, or office. If things don’t work for you, then you have the option of leaving the relationship at the right time. 

Set short- and long-term goals: 

Every person has specific goals in life, and later you strive together to achieve that. But almost all plans relate to money. So, by discussing plans ahead of time, you can save money accordingly, and it will be easier. The goals could be of any type like: 

  • When do you want to buy your first home? 
  • Do you want to set up a travel fund? 
  • What are the dreams that you want to achieve as a couple? 

Moreover, after having the right direction and planning, you can do budgeting in a better way. It’s also vital to draft a plan to reduce debts timely. 

Consider couple therapy or help: 

If things aren’t working, but you like each other, you can take couples therapy. If you seek professional help, then you will get tips to discuss financial matters with your partner. Apart from this, an expert can help if it’s getting difficult to navigate things and conversation is getting intense. You can find many therapists who have a good record of working with couples. The experts help in these things: 

  • Help to set guidelines for money talk 
  • Tell you to talk with full honesty and trust 
  • Therapists tell it’s okay to not be on the same page all the time 

Most importantly, it would help if you don’t rush things and it’s okay to take pauses. It doesn’t need to happen instantly and at once, especially when the conversation is money-related, intense, and crucial. 


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