Why I left Extinction Rebellion & stopped trying to save the world

Olly Hawes F**King Legend show

With the world marching towards oligarchic apocalypse… what the fuck should we do?

by Olly Hawes

In October 2019, I found myself sobbing in a therapist’s office. I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with a sense of personal responsibility and total futility. At that time, protesting and activism was a central part of my life. For a week, I had been part of Extinction Rebellion’s blockade of Trafalgar Square. For months I’d been part of preparations. And then I had left to go to therapy, and when I arrived I was desperately upset that I was there, instead of at the blockade. I felt like I was letting people down by not being there.  But at the same time, I could no longer be there.

I don’t know about you, but increasingly I look at the world and I have no idea whether to laugh until I cry, or cry until I’m dead, or just quietly try to make the things that I actually have influence over better. And I particularly don’t know how to do that given that I am a part of the probably most privileged demographic on the planet. I make theatre. My latest show, F**king Legend, which is playing at Riverside Studios in London until 21 December, is about two of the most important issues defining the world today: the perfidious influence of modern masculinity; and the climate and ecological crises. But really it’s about the link between these two things: to what extent does the former lead to the latter? And if we accept that, at the very least in part, the former does lead to the latter… what should any of us do about that? Can any of us do anything about it, really? One half of me says, yes, of course we can, there are any number of logical arguments and historical precedents that we can look to that show that individuals can make a difference and the world can change. The other half… well the other half just seems to sadly, knowingly chuckle at the hopelessness of the idea. Of course, logically speaking, it can happen, but the chances that it will are almost vanishingly low.

In 2019, I, along with thousands of other people, did try to make something happen. I had, for years, become more and more shocked at the reality of the climate and ecological crises, and was equally dismayed at humanity’s inability to actually do anything about it. It was the same then as it is now: our traditional institutions may have been able to identify the problems, but they are clearly unable to generate the action to solve them. We know what’s happening, we know what’s going to happen, but, as an overall collective, we don’t seem to want to make things better – in fact, we seem set upon making things a lot worse. Accordingly, humanity seems to have some sort of collective death wish. It’s all rather bizarre, really, when you think about it. And so, when Extinction Rebellion held an ‘uprising’ in the April of that year, I found there was a reason to have a semblance of hope. Here was a movement that had 3 clear and achievable goals, and a clear methodology for achieving them that was founded upon tested academic principles and backed up by historical precedents. But far more importantly the movement seemed to have found a way to capture the moment, to capture the imagination of thousands upon thousands of people and mobilise them into direct action. I joined my local group. I got involved in planning ‘actions’. I did the actions. I dedicated hours and hours a week. I gave up time, money, and brain space. And yet, a year later in April 2020, my life as an activist had… well, if not finished, at least gone dormant.

There were a number of reasons for this. There was the pandemic, of course. There was the arrival of my first child. There were the actions of a few prominent members of XR which I fundamentally disagreed with. And, of course, all of these things were significant – fundamental, even… but there was also something else, an undeniable sense that I’d burned out… and so had the movement. Now, let’s be clear: this happens. It happens to individual activists, and it happens to the movements they’re a part of. And it certainly doesn’t mean their efforts were in vain. Whilst Extinction Rebellion didn’t achieve its three aims, the evidence is clear: it permanently changed the public perception of the climate and ecological crises, and the politics surrounding them. But at the same time, it’s hard to deny that the moment for that particular movement has passed. And so I – and thousands of others, I expect – are left saying to ourselves, ‘Now what?’

My energy went back into making theatre. This might seem curious. Fewer than 4% of the UK population go to the theatre monthly, fewer than 1% weekly, what’s a fringe theatre show going to do? Well, I guess, for artists the creation of art is more a compulsion than a decision – that’s certainly the case for me – so it’s more a case of the work is going to get made one way or another, but the subject of that work is up for grabs – and so making a show about modern masculinity and the impending climate apocalypse feels like the right thing to do… but… but… there’s still that sense of futility.

I now have two children, and, as far as I can tell, having children gives a person more reasons to be active in the struggle for climate justice, not fewer. I can see a moment in the future where one of the kids says to me: ‘Why didn’t you do more? Look at what’s happened to the world, why didn’t you do more?’ Right now, I don’t have a good answer to that question. And I think that’s the case for a lot of people. In fact, our lack of an answer might be the thing that defines our generation; it might well be the thing that defines all future generations too.

Olly Hawes: F**King Legend is at the Riverside Studios, London between Wednesday 13th November to Saturday 21st December. For tickets, visit: https://riversidestudios.co.uk/see-and-do/fking-legend-136800/

 

Tags:

You May Also Like

style Your Wardrobe

How To Add Some Flair to Your Wardrobe

words Alexa Wang Modifying your style is a superb method to express your persona ...

Snap, crackle and bop – Palma de Majorca’s winter fiesta

Words: Neil Geraghty In the dimly lit corners of Palma de Majorca’s Town Hall, ...

beginners astronomy

Somewhere out there: Beginners guide to astronomy

words Al Woods Looking up at the night sky with its different constellations and ...

Luxury Tips Designing Bedroom

Unveiling Luxury: Tips for Designing Your Dream Bedroom

words Alexa Wang Your bedroom is more than just a place to sleep—it’s a ...

Flower Arrangements

What You Need to Know About Home Decor Flower Arrangements

words Alexa Wang Flower arrangements are a beautiful way to add a touch of ...

solid Gold Pendants

5 Tips for Finding the Perfect Vintage Solid Gold Pendants for Him

words Alexa Wang There was a time when it was thought that jewelry was ...